In A Current

I have started my divorce on my own and am frustrated and confused

“Why did I think I could do a divorce myself using the Online Court Assistance Program (OCAP)? The clerks are rude and won’t help me. It is confusing and creating conflict with my spouse that I am trying to avoid! “
Are you struggling to figure out how to put your divorce paperwork together online? Are you confused about all the legal mumbo-jumbo and you just need some straightforward answers to help you put your divorce agreement together?
Did you know it’s estimated that over 75% of all the do it yourself online divorces end up having significant problems even after one year and many of those end up having to go back to court to be fixed?
“Making the decision to get married wasn’t that difficult… Why does it have to be so difficult to get a divorce when both parties agree on everything?”
It doesn’t have to be.
Many people that are going through divorce look for options that will save them time and money. This is understandable as divorce can cost tens of thousands of dollars and take months and months of time if attorneys and judges are part of the process.
It is now possible to complete all of your divorce paperwork using Internet websites. These sites can be very appealing because many of them offer the service for free and on the surface it looks like it will be fast and easy.
There are two major risks of doing a divorce using Internet websites that you should consider.
  1. Cannot Customize Agreement. There are no Internet divorce services which provide a complete checklist of all of the divorce issues which need to be addressed in order for it to be a complete agreement.  These do it yourself Internet websites only provide the minimum required language and documents in order for a judge to sign the decree. As a result they are very incomplete and a high percentage of these end up going back to court later on to be fixed. Your divorce is like a finger print. It is unique. A good divorce agreement is customized to fit your specific situation.
  2. Dealing With Grumpy Clerks- The court clerks cannot help you. If they do it may be construed as giving you legal advise which is against the law for them. They get several people a day asking for their help and it makes them grumpy some times. This can make it almost impossible to know what to file and how and when.

Here are just a few of the common issues that are not addressed in online do it yourself divorce agreements:

Common Issues Not Available With Online Divorce Programs

  • Addressing new significant others and the children
  • How to resolve disputes over visitation, holidays, and vacations
  • How to resolve disputes if somebody chooses to move
  • Customized language allowing the couples to “experiment” with different parenting time schedules
  • Addressing if a parent is not taking the children when they say they will
  • How to address how to handle a child that does not want to see the other parent
  • How to deal with differences on parenting styles and/or religious issues
  • What if somebody wants the children to participate in an activity or sport and the other does not?
  • How will extras like cell phones, car insurance, dance competitions etc be paid for?
  • What if somebody gets a significantly greater tax benefit from taking the deductions
  • Life insurance provision in case of death to cover child support
  • After 18 expenses like missions, weddings, college etc. \
  • How to manage Health Savings Accounts
  • Disputes over who will provide day care
  • Disputes about elective medical procedures
  • How to calculate child support if incomes fluctuate from year to year
  • Customizing an agreement on the home.
  • How to allow one party to keep the home and the other party still be able to buy a home
  • How to determine the equity?
  • Terms and Boundaries for selling the home]
  • How to avoid negative consequences in selling a home
  • How to avoid negative consequences in dividing retirements
  • How to stay on loans together after the divorce safely
  • How to calculate alimony when there are incomes that fluctuate
  • How to write language about an alimony buyout
  • How to include property settlements into alimony agreements
  • How to make adjustments to alimony when there is a company involved

Common ground divorce mediation provides an online divorce coaching service which can provide One on one coaching and assistance that will use your existing online divorce document program and allow you to customize your divorce. Most of the time your entire divorce will be completed in one week. For a very affordable price that varies depending if have children or not,  you will have professional divorce help from an unbiased experienced mediator and your agreement will be thorough and complete. Your chances of having to go back to court and fix anything will be less than 5%.

If you would like to discuss how we can help you get this divorce completed in the next few weeks and end the frustration of using the online court programs please complete the Online Divorce Assessment below and a mediator will contact you to discuss next steps.


Start your free consultation today.

Your no-obligation consultation allows you to get through divorce or mediation faster and at a lower cost compared to other providers.