Sample Letter to Spouse

The discussion about your desire to divorce is hard. If you are worried about your spouse not being able to control their emotions consider writing them a letter”

Dear Spouse,

It should not be a surprise to you that I feel we need to get a divorce. I know this is not a good time for either one of us right now, and I am very concerned we both handle ourselves the best way we can while we go through this. I am sure we are thinking along the same lines about not wanting to be taken advantage of and being fair, and getting it done as soon as we can.

I think it would be great if we could handle this whole thing outside of court, and use mediation. I have heard that it takes less time and money and it is easier on all of us including the kids. I have also found out that in the state of Utah you are required by law to use a mediator before a Judge will do anything.

I have done some research on mediation and talked to a mediator firm. They were very helpful. They asked me not to discuss the details of our situation until they could talk to us both. They were very adamant about us both feeling they were impartial. I learned that mediators are trained to know all of the Utah divorce laws and statutes but they don’t represent either party. They work with both of us to help us customize our own agreement. They educate us about our options so we can make the decisions. Their goal is to help us get a fair divorce agreement without going to court. They have a very good website at

They said we could do our entire divorce with a mediator and won’t even have to go into a courtroom. Will you please consider mediation? I know you may not trust me completely. I don’t have an agenda, I am only thinking what would be best for us and I think mediation is the best fit.

If you would like to check into other mediators I respect that. The mediation firm I talked to is called Common Ground Mediation. Their phone number is 801-270-9333. They offer a free consultation but they require that we both attend.

I hope that you take this letter in the spirit that it was intended. I don’t want you to feel like I am forcing mediation on you. Mediation is a voluntary process. I just think that we should give it a try and do what we can to keep this divorce out of court.

If you want I will set up an appointment for us to go visit the mediators and then we can both see if it is something that we want to try out. Please let me know what you think about this.



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