I am still unsure if divorce is the right answer
Are you having any of the these thoughts or questions? The fear of regret creates indecisiveness. You might not be happy in your marriage but your not sure you want to divorce. If you divorce you worry about the damage to the children or yourself. There is the worry about your financial security. If you stay together then you expose your children to a dysfunctional marriage which can be worse than divorce! Are you staying together for the wrong reasons. Are you going to get six months down the road and wish you would have just divorced. There is so much at stake. It is the biggest decision of your life likely.
If both of you are asking these questions and your decision to divorce is not final we can help you with that decision.
Yes we are a divorce mediation firm. We also provide Relationship Communication Coaching. Communication coaching is very different than traditional marriage therapy. The traditional models for marriage counseling typically follow a psychological approach focusing on problems during your younger years and how those currently effect your relationship. There is value in addressing these problems but there is statistical evidence that traditional marriage counseling does not help couples improve their marriages. In fact there is evidence that often it makes the situation worse.
We use a communication and expectation approach. We will address communication problems but we feel very strong about focusing on solutions to problems.
We use a simple formula that we guarantee will improve the relationship dramatically. This does not always mean that your marriage will be saved.
We use a simple 3 Step Process:
- Assess- First we have to assess your marriage. There a some marriages that can be saved and some that cannot. We will take you through a guided exercise that will give you the clarity you are seeking and will allow you to be decisive.
- Identify- Second we will identify the specific communication and personality styles of each of you. We will do a thorough personality profile on each of you that will be about 150 pages long! Knowing how your hard wired to communicate is essential to modifying your communication style with each other
- Set Expectations- Third we will customize a set of expectations geared around positive change that is noticeable and has immediate results. We will measure the results and create accountability.
Unlike traditional therapy models where you go to a session once a week for an hour we have our clients tethered to us 24/7. You can not always predict when you are going to have conflict or problems. When you do is when you need the help. If you have to wait a week to talk to a therapist you can cause additional damage to the relationship. Having a relationship tethered to you in real time to address the problems in real time creates the best chance for understanding and long term change.
Why Communication Coaching is essential…even if you end up getting a divorce.
- For Your Children- If there is any chance you can save your marriage we encourage you to try our process. If you have children then you will be a mom and dad even if you are not a husband and wife. You will need to improve your communication to ensure your children thrive through the divorce process.
- For Your Next Relationship- The divorce rate is approximately 50% for first marriages. The divorce rate for 2nd marriage is 73%! We are NOT LEARNING FROM OUR MISTAKES. Great relationships are more about BEING THE RIGHT PERSON, not finding the right person. People that complete our communication coaching learn what they need to do or not do to ensure success in future relationships. It would be a shame for you to go through a tough divorce and not learn what you needed to learn. We will make sure that happens.
If you feel you are at a crossroads in your marriage and need clarity on if you should get divorced and what would need to happen to help you be in a happy relationship then take our Marriage Viability Assessment and schedule a consultation with us.