I don’t want a divorce but my spouse does

I don’t want this divorce and I feel my spouse is trying to cram this divorce down my throat! I need time to process this. What do I do?”

Your divorce experience is based on your emotional acceptance of the divorce, which is very different from your spouse’s.

If you did not want this divorce the feeling of rejection and loss can seem at times so overwhelming you can barely function. You may find yourself acting very desperate. You may trying everything you can to persuade your spouse to reconsider. It is not uncommon to start with sincere genuine and heartfelt statements that you are going to change and be better. More than likely your spouse has rejected these pleadings which will come across as cold and lacking any compassion. The normal reaction here is to use more intense types of persuasion which are normally very negative. Your emotions can turn from genuine sorrow and a desire to change to anger. You will likely threaten your spouse with fear and shame and other harsh manipulation tactics. If your spouse continues to be non responsive you just find more harsh statements to say hoping to get any kind of emotion from your spouse even if it is negative emotion.

First ask your self if the only way your spouse is going to stay with you is because you have scared them back into the marriage then that is not a relationship anybody would want. Be very careful. Try as hard as you can to show your spouse respect even if you don’t understand their decision. If you continue in with the roller coaster emotions you could cause you spouse to tire of your antics and they may feel they have no other choice but to have an attorney to get you to stop. THIS IS THE BIGGEST MISTAKE THAT DOES NOT NEED TO HAPPEN.

We will help you understand and control your emotions. We will help you with some coping skills. You WILL get through this. You need to recognize that you are being required to make major decisions when you are emotionally at your worst. Let us help. Don’t be tempted to hire an attorney as a way to punish your spouse for the hurt they are causing you. The attorney will take your money and suck you into an adversarial process that will make your ability to heal take much longer and cost you thousands of dollars and you will have an agreement that is likely much worse than if you used mediation to get your divorce done.

If you would like to a mediator about ways you can make this process easier emotionally for you then use our proprietary Divorce Cost Estimator by clicking the button below and a mediator will contact you. This will be one of the best calls you will ever have.

We specialize in these types of divorce situations. We work with you on how to handle your emotions and deal with the divorce and most of the time you can come out as friends. We identify potential hazards for the divorcing couple to be aware of and guide you away from these hazards.

Additional Related Topics

If one party wants the divorce and the other does not that can create a condition that can cause a divorce to have a high level of conflict. The party that wants the divorce is often not sensitive and will come across as being cold. The person who does not want the divorce is dealing with the loss and rejection and will often times lash out because they are hurt.


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